Rollover Minutes

Okay:

First of all, I'd like to acknowledge the stellar sportsmanship of our Washington Redskins, even though they lost on Saturday. No one expected them to make it as far as they did, and they proved everyone wrong. We'll get 'em next year!

Having said that, I'd like to address the issue of morning sex...or as I like to call it, Rollover Minutes.

I find morning sex awkward no matter what kind of woman I'm dealing with. It is the woman, unaware I imagine, of how difficult she's being, that makes morning sex such a challenge.

You wake up, lie there for a while, wondering, "Is she awake? I wonder if she's down for some rollover minutes."

So you reach into your nightstand to get your equipment situated. You make a little excess noise with the wrapper to let her know you're coming to get your issue off if she's still trying to play sleep.

Not much along the lines of foreplay. You haven't brushed your teeth yet! That's one of the benefits of morning sex. Perfect excuse to just go in.

Now you have to figure out your point of entry. There may be pajamas or panties obscuring things. They have to go, but that's easier said than done. She may or may not help you with that. She may just let you struggle and hope that you give up. But you must persevere.

Then for some reason, when her back is facing you and she's lying on her side, it's a bit more difficult to find your way. You may fumble around a bit. Again, if she's nice, or as ready as you are, she may help. If not, it could take a while.

But once you're in, you're in. And there's no better way to get the day started.

But, ladies.

My question is why not just rollover yourself and make things easy. But that's not your job, now is it? To make things easy? Then we wouldn't appreciate it.

It's not like going to Staples.

Comments?

Thanks for reading.

GO OBAMA!

Confession: Like most men, as I understand, my penis curves. Mine curves downward, like a hook. When I was in junior high school, I tried to correct this by taping it to my stomach every morning for a month.