Laid and Confused

Okay:

Casual sex is great. It's like a free hobby. I've become quite good at it, actually. I am completely capable of having a purely sexual relationship with a woman without eventually wanting more. Yes, ladies. It does happen the other way around occasionally. It used to happen to me all the time, in fact. All the time. But that was years ago and I'm a different person now. I know the rules, so now the game is fun.

There are some little parts that I haven't quite figured out yet though, and I want to try and open up a community discussion so I can iron out the kinks over here.

One problem I'm having is the issue of friendly phone calls. It seems to me that if you have a purely sexual relationship with someone, by definition there should be something resembling a friendship underneath. That is, if she were in a near fatal car crash, you'd definitely visit her in the hospital. If she decides to get married, you'll attend the wedding. So the problem is, how often should you call just to say "hey". Call too often, it may imply that you want more out of the relationship. Only call for sex and it cheapens the whole affair, doesn't it?

So you say, "If it's just sex, then it's just sex. The occasional friendly call is unnecessary, phony and may give the wrong impression."

I say, quite the contrary. Being rigid in your insistence that things remain surface-level practically guarantees that the other person will catch feelings. If you give a little, everyone relaxes and things stay cool a lot longer. The trick is finding that official friendly call to booty call ratio. Per week, I'd say 1:3. That is, for every 3 booty calls you make, make one friendly call, just to say "hey".

What do you think?

Then there's the issue of when you should leave.

She comes over, or you go to her place. You have the sex. What's an appropriate amount of time to wait before you leave or she leaves? Leave immediately and, again, it cheapens things. You can't just get your issue off, hop up, get dressed and roll out. There's no class in that. If she's at your spot, and you're like me, you don't have enough balls to tell her it's time for her to go. You may drop some hints but they're not always very good at reading those hints, are they?

I think twenty minutes to a half-hour is a decent amount of time to wait before leaving. Anything less is like brothel status. Anything more, well, you'd definitely be over-staying your welcome at the Hotel Nadir.

What do you think?

And finally. What should you do if you meet someone nice and it's time to cut her back. Should you play it passive-aggressive and just let things phase out. You don't return a few of her calls and she gets the message. Or should you call her and have a "talk"?

I'd say it depends on how long this relationship has been going on. Anything past six months and I'd say she deserves a "talk". Anything less than that and she can figure it out on her own.

But what do you think?

Thanks for reading.

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Correction: According to my sister, yesterday's blog was riddled with typos. Mostly homonym errors. "These are the details that set apart your brilliance," she said. So, apologies my dear readers. I'll be more careful next time.