Mind Your Business

Okay:

One thing I do like about America is its fostering of the entrepreneurial spirit. In America, everyone is a business man. Perhaps that's overstating it.

In America, everyone wants to be a business man.

I don't think I have any friends who haven't made at least one failed attempt at starting a business. They all start of so bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. So American. So confident and self-assured that they refuse to acknowledge even the most basic fallacies in their well-intentioned endeavors.

Myself included.

"So, Cee Brown," you say. "What kind of business did you try to start?"

I did what most black men my age with any sense of style would do. I started a record label.

Correction. I started 4 record labels. In 4 short years.

And, surprise, surprise, I never made a dime.

In fact, I lost thousands.

I lost sleep.

I lost time.

I lost friends.

And, eventually, I lost hope.

So, I did what I always do when I lose hope. I called the only person I know who will give me a straight answer when I ask for it.

You guessed it. I called my sister.

Just a little background here. My sister is Wall Street stock broker with an MBA from Wharton. (That's Trump's Alma mater). She has an opinion about everything, but her opinion in this arena is particularly valid, wouldn't you say?

It was a long and revelatory conversation, but only one key phrase stood out.

"You ain't no Puff Daddy."

I told my business partner about our conversation the next day. His response was a solemn, "Goddamn."

The thing about starting a record label is, people don't buy records anymore. Music is, for all intents and purposes, free. So selling CDs is like selling VCRs or, like, tap water. And a business cannot thrive if no one will buy its product or service. That's kind of, like, the point.

The truth is I am an artist. But growing up watching guys like Puff Daddy, Master P, 50 Cent, and Jay Z become multi-multi-multi millionaires by mixing a little business savvy with their artistry makes you want to believe that you can do it too.

But you can't.

Not because you don't want to, and not because you don't have the talent, but because you don't have the capital. None of those guys walked into somebody's office with their pockets turned out and started talking shit then turned up on the Forbes list five years later.

One of the first things they teach you in business school, apparently, is that you need money to start a business. Skimming off the top of your monthly income ain't gonna cut it.

It would also help to have a plan written out.

And it wouldn't hurt to do some market research.

And accurate records of expenditures and earnings.

Yeah. Sounds like homework, right? It's a lot more fun to dream up clever names and cute little logos and buy your own postage meter. Yessiree, those crocheted draws will be selling like hot cakes in no time. Then you could spin that into a talk show or some kind of pseudo reality sit com jump off 'cause your family is so funny and kooky and you think people would enjoy watching you all just do stuff and then you could put out a record because your true passion is music and, of course, you'll go platinum and get nominated for a Grammy and then be invited to co-star in a movie opposite Will Smith and get a surprise Oscar nomination and win and get caught on the way home driving drunk--'cuz who needs a driver?--with cocaine in the armrest and become a national sensation/scandal and then no one will hear from you for a while until your long-awaited comeback five years later when you're all seasoned and respectable and you'll finance and star in a cute little independent film that critics hail as "the most touching film of the year" or "gripping" and and you end up at the Oscars again, but it's all old news now and when you don't win it's even cooler than when you did win because you don't care now and the Academy's full of shit anyway.

And all this from selling crocheted draws on your social networking page with the money you were going to spend on grad school.

Now that is the American Dream.

Pun intended!


Thanks for reading.

GOBAMA!

LISTEN TO MY MUSIC AND WATCH VIDEOS AT
http://www.blackbroadway-online.com

Factoid: Successful or not, having a business is great at tax time. But every time I do my taxes and the lady asks me what kind of business it is, I'm always kind of embarrassed to say it's a record label. Then she looks at me sort of funny as if to say, "You the third nigga today."