Thursday, April 24, 2008

Dream On Dreamer

Okay:

So, I recently noticed that I haven't been dreaming lately. I used to dream all the time. I once read somewhere that you dream every time you go to sleep, but you don't remember most of them.

Most of my dreams are recurring and deal with my anxiety issues.

There's the one where I get to school and realize that I forgot to put clothes on. Funny thing is, no one else ever notices. I'm not surrounded by a circle of laughing, taunting classmates. I'm just sitting there in class in my draws and I have to go find clothes before anyone realizes. I guess that has something to do with my fear of being unprepared or something, or my insecurities about having been such a terrible student and, for a long time, socially awkward.

I have often wondered why I am never completely naked. I've always got my draws.

Maybe my clothes are a metaphor for my social facade. Maybe I'm afraid that if I was ever truly myself, no one would notice me.

As a side-note, I think we are only a few decades away from it becoming socially acceptable for young people to walk the streets in their underwear. Liberalism is progressive. You gotta be thinking, "what's next?"

After that I don't think it will be altogether uncommon to see people having sex in public. A park bench. A metro train. We'll be the old fogies who think it's inappropriate and crude. The kids will be like, "Shut the fuck up old man and mind your business!"

But I digress.

Then there's the one where I get into a fight, but I can't lift my arms to throw a punch. This faceless bully-type is chasing me and wailing on me but I can't defend myself. My arms are too heavy. I try to run, but I can't do that either.

Maybe the bully is me, I think. Maybe I'm tired of the internal struggle and I'm giving in to the lower part of my nature.

Or maybe I should take boxing lessons.

I also think that because of the culture of violence we've all been steeped in, it will soon be no more than a misdemeanor for you to kick someone's ass. As it should be.

Then there's the one where I've committed some kind of horrible crime and gotten away with it. Robbed a bank. Killed someone. And I spend the entire dream trying to cover up my misdeeds. It eventually becomes this huge cluster-fuck, and I wake up grateful that it wasn't real.

Then there's the one where I discover that I have been unconsciously stealing material from other artists. I hear a song on the radio that sounds like one of my songs only it's not me singing it. But they haven't stolen the song from me, I have stolen it from them. Very embarrassing actually.

And finally, there's the sex dream. It usually involves me getting ready to have sex. I never actually get to do the deed. The woman is never faceless. It's always someone I know. I just may never have realized that I wanted to sleep with her. It generally involves the woman making some sort of overt proposal for some extremely casual, unbridled romping. Which I generally can't resist even when I'm awake. Predictably, I always wake up right before I'm about to get some. Which sucks.

You may have noticed that none of these dreams are particularly pleasant, save the last one. Except there I'm always robbed of a happy ending. I think this is a reflection of my generally pessimistic outlook on life. Or, perhaps, these sorts of dreams are more common than I think they are.

Post a comment. Share a dream of yours or offer an interpretation of one of mine.


Thanks for reading.

GOBAMA!

LISTEN TO MY MUSIC AND WATCH VIDEOS AT
http://www.blackbroadway-online.com

Shameless Plug: I'll be performing live tonight at DC9 (1940 9th St, NW WDC) with Motel, a jazz/hip hop fusion band. If you're in the DC area tonight, come through.

1 comment:

Mizrepresent said...

I dream very vividly...and also have reoccuring dreams...

Dreams of school/college - rushing to make it to school to take a test, a very important test, that i seem to always late for.

Fighting demons in old houses, where i have some special powers.

Hiding from someone, in an attic, a special place.

Biting someone when they make me mad!


Driving down the highway but can't ever find my way home, then the highway turns into a rollercoaster, two very thin rails that my car can hardly fit on.

Aliens landing, being seen in the sky...me just standing there, saying "i told you so"...

None of it makes sense to me...maybe one day, but not today!