There She Blows

Okay:

Today I want to talk about sex.

I try to keep blogs such as these at a minimum. I don't everyone thinking that I'm some kind of poon hound.I do think about other things. Politics. World Hunger. Iraq. Global Warming.

But today I want to talk about sex.

Oral sex specially.

More specifically, fellatio.

Blowjobs are like God's gift to man. A sly wink to make amends for the whole sweat-of-your-brow thing. It doesn't matter what you're going through. Stress at work. Money problems. For ten blissful minutes, all is right with the world. You could give two shits who wins the Super Bowl or the goddamn Democratic Nomination.

Most women, I've found, are very liberated and have no reservations about the thing. However, there is a small minority of women who are still quite reserved when going down comes up. They think it's some sort of Blessed Sacrament.

The question is: how do you let a reluctant lover know that you need that extra little something to get you over the hump?

You could be crass and say it flat out. "Give me some head!" but that probably won't work. In fact, it could end in a complete cessation of all sexual activity.

You could drop some hints. Kind of gently push her head down while you thrust your crotch toward her face.

Or you could just wait.

But waiting is for suckers, no?

So, fellas, I offer you this. A sure fire way to get some head from your timid tart.

Now this will only work on someone with whom you are already intimate. Definitely not a first date thing.

You spark up a random conversation. While you're on line at the movies, perhaps. "What about that crazy bitch Brittney Spears?"

And when she bites the line and starts babbling on and on about whatever, inject: "Hey, can I get some head when we get home?"

Not shit. 85% chance she'll say yes.

No logic to it. Women are weird.

I did it one time while I was pumping gas. I walked over to the passenger side and knocked on the window. When she rolled the window down I said, "How bout some head later?"

I shit you not. It works.

Try it out, fellas, and let me know.


Thanks for reading.

GOBAMA http://www.barackobama.com

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Factoid: Most women have a blowjob coach. That is, a friend or family member that taught them how to give head on a banana or zucchini.