So, last year everyone was talking about this crazy YouTube video called "Two Girl And A Cup". I asked around and everyone except me seemed to have seen it already.
I asked Gill, "You don't need to see it, son. Trust me. Your life will not be the same afterwards."
"Holy shit," I said. "I gotta see it then."
"Trust me, son. I know you're curious and it seems exciting, but YOU DO NOT WANT to see this video."
"Wow," I said. Then I left it alone. Normally I would have run straight home to see for myself what all the hoopla was about, but for some reason, Gill's strong caution kept my curiosity at bay.
For a while.
This past weekend, I woke up one morning thinking, "I think I'll watch that 'Two Girls And A Cup' video today.
Well.
As they say, curiosity killed the cat and it fucked the dog up too.
I am scarred.
A few weeks ago there was some buzz at work about another YouTube video. "You haven't seen the Soulja Girl video yet, son?" asked Gill, his eyes wide with excitement.
"Is that Soulja Boy Tell Em's new music video?"
"No, son," said Gill, shaking his head. "It's this girl on the train in Atlanta screaming Soulja Boy lyrics at an old lady."
"Well, that sounds interesting."
"The shit is crazy, son. They're video taping everything now."
Before I got home that day another friend called. "Have you seen that Soulja Girl video yet? YouTube it and watch it RIGHT NOW."
And so I did.
Again, I am scarred.
As a consolation, I haven't laughed that hard since I was a kid. We had a half-hour debate about whether she's bipolar or on drugs. The consensus? Both.
The winter before last, all my high school buddies were in town. Everyone ended up at my apartment for a night of drinking and catching up.
"Have you seen the 'Dick In A Box' video yet?"
"Dick In A Box?"
"Yeah, 'Dick In A Box'."
"I don't think I wanna see no dick in a box."
"Trust me. You WANT to see this dick in a box."
Well, that one kept me laughing for weeks. We may have watched it 10 times that night, and each time was funnier than the last.
Justin Timberlake has won himself a permanent place in my heart.
But more impressive than them all is the YouTube phenom, Alexyss Tyler.
"Have you see Vagina Power yet, son?"
"No, but it sounds right up alley."
Well. It's a mystery why this woman has not been given some kind of award. At least an Image Award or a guest appearance on the Tyra Banks Show. Every teenage girl should watch this.
There are lots of other sights to been seen on YouTube, God's gift to the idle mind. One day I hope to get my 15 minutes of YouTube fame and become someone's precious hyperlink.
Thanks for reading.
GOBAMA!
Click here to download the new single: "No Fear" featuring Phonte and Asheru. It includes the Joe D remix, 2 b-sides and video interviews with Cool Cee Brown. FREE FOR A LIMITED TIME.
Warning: I purposely did not embed a "Two Girls And A Cup" link because I don't think anybody should see it. If your curiosity gets the best of you and you should do a google search on your own, don't say I didn't warn you.
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9 comments:
Oh my goodness...Okay, guilty as everybody else in having seen them. Except the Two Girls and a Cup. (I only remember to look at it when I'm at work and from all accounts that's exactly where I shouldn't see it.)
Soulja Girl was straight comedy...I bet she calmed down once ol' boy knocked her upside her head. Changed her tune real quick, lol.
I LOVE Alexyss Tyler...I think what makes her so hilarious is that she is so serious about her topics. "Why would you go to his house for 4 days and not shit...let him put all that dick in you and back everything up, but won't shit. You know him well enough for him to feed you dick, but not to shit around him. That don't make no sense." LMAO!
Now I have to go find Dick in a Box, because I hadn't even heard of that one.
I'm on the line about YouTube, but for comedy such as this, you can't find a better place!
Cee Brown,
Man, that "Two Girls and a Cup" joint was terrible. My brother in-law was like, yo D, you seen that Two Girls and a Cup joint? I was like naw, what the hell is that, he's like, I'm going to pull it up right now. I don't think I've seen anything that f'ing disgusting in my life.
Guys, be very careful. The next time you move in for a kiss with your date, if it smells like she has "Chronic, Boo Boo Halitosis," she might be a member of the cast of "Two Girls and a Cup Part 6!"
isha:
Let me know what you think of that "Dick In A Box" clip. And, PLEASE, take my word for it on the "Two Girls And A Cup" video. You DON'T WANT to see it.
Anonymous:
It does make you wonder where they find these people. And how does one initiate a conversation on shooting a video such as this? How is that topic broached?
All I did was READ the description of "Two Girls and A Cup" on the YouTube page and I clicked off immediately!!! But you gotta see the Family Guy "Damn Nature You Scary" clip. You will piss your pants!
Never seen it...cuz bottom line two girls in anything just don't interest me, not even for curiosity sakes...now that dick tube i might check out.
dude. omg. i am scarred for life. i will never be the same.
I warned you.
...and there are at least 3 typos in this post. You are supposed to be my editor!
You're slippin, man.
since we folk, I'ma share some of my own YouTube faves:
OH MY GODDD THERE IT IS!
The homie Eli Porter
Wu Tang Office
btw, Alexyss Tyler might come off as crazy, but she drops MAD KNOWLEDGE.
btw x 2... I've seen 2 Girls 1 Cup and I heard there's something called BME Pain Olympics that's way worse. I learned my lesson and will never ever watch it.
Hi Claude, I know I'm late on these so I'll have to catch up on a few. Okay here goes...
2 girls 1 cup? I made a vow to never watch this and then some asshole managed to get to me to watch a clip by renaming it. I question the equilibrium of those who can sit through this to the end. No offense of course, but omg and wtf all at the same time. The homie Eli Porter? That shit is too funny. I feel guilty for laughing at him but I can't stop. Alexyss Tyler? I just want to know who she gets her trees from because clearly the best theories and philosphies happen after you burn one.
Dick in a box? LMAO!!! I love youtube. On another note, did anybody else think that JT sounded a little like 1980's Bobby Brown at the end of the song? Just a thought...
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