Good Better Best

Okay:

So I might have a small problem at my new job.

Maybe not so much a problem. More of an issue.

One of my new co-workers, who is technically an old co-worker (we worked together two years ago) confessed to me yesterday. "You know, everyone hates you here."

"Hates me?"

"Maybe hate is a strong word. But they really don't like you very much."

"Did I say something rude to someone?"

"No. You haven't said much of anything to anyone. That's part of the problem, actually. They think you're a bit standoffish."

"Standoffish?"

"And stuck up."

"Stuck up?"

For a moment there I was concerned. I have always prided myself on my down-to-earthy approachability. A kind of everyman who's comfortable in almost any social situation. And I think that's how people who know me well would describe me. But the older I get, the more I hear this "standoffish/stuck-up" business. Or even more often, "He thinks he's better than everyone else."

Jesus.

Now there's one thing I don't understand. Actually, let me rephrase that. There's lots of things I don't understand, and that's one of them.

Maybe I do. Sometimes I get the feeling that Africans and West-Indians think they're better than Black Americans. But not me specifically. Know what I mean?

Like, I'm never in a situation with someone, having a conversation or whatever, or simply observing them, and come to the conclusion that they think they're better than me. It just never occurs to me.

Now I can be judgemental. Which I guess is pretty obvious by now.

But there are very few things that I person can do that would make me turn up my nose.

I don't have a lot respect for drug dealers, gold diggers, braggarts, politicians or television evangelists. But everyone else is cool as far as I'm concerned.

Oh, and color-struck people and people who say things like, "she got that good hair."

That will make me not want to talk to you at all.

I was with a friend this weekend and she suggested that I might make a good match with a friend of hers. "She's really nice," she said. "And she's light-skinned."

I almost threw up in my mouth a little bit.

And she's light-skinned? Like, And she's a dancer. Or, And she graduated from Yale.

Like it's an accomplishment.

But I'm reasonable. Since I hear it so often, I'm inclined to believe that there must be some truth to it. Or at the very least, I inadvertently give off that vibe. But I also believe that in order for you to think that someone else thinks they're better than you, you must have a pretty low opinion of yourself.

See, my experience has been that the same people who say things like "he thinks he's better than everyone else" are also the kind of people who are constantly juxtaposing what you do against what they do. It's a kind of soft-snootiness, with a built in disclaimer because they position themselves as the victim. In the end, they end up thinking they're better than you.

So you can't win for losing.

But after talking to my co-worker for a while, I realized that I really didn't give a shit. It's too hard making friends these days.

Maybe they'll come around and maybe they won't. Either way, I still have you guys.



Thanks for reading.


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Postscript: My daughter, however, is better than all of them.