Rediscovering a Cheap and Tasty Treat That I Affectionately Refer To As "The Ramen"

Okay:

So, I have rediscovered Ramen Noodles. They are delicious little forgotten gems from my college years. I lived on those things for half a decade. I used to spruce them up with all kinds of stuff: hot sauce, cheese, sour cream, you name it.

At the time, you could get six for a dollar.

And this is how I came to rediscover Ramen, just 3 short days ago. It wasn't that I was feeling particularly nostalgic or had developed a hankering. I had predictably ran short on cash before pay day and needed to buy something cheap to eat that would last me the week.

Enter The Ramen.

I was also out of lotion and dish soap. So, I went to the CVS and discovered that they are now 2 for a dollar.

Fucking terrorists.

Is nothing sacred?

Sixty bucks for a tank of gas, and now, 50 cents for a pack of Ramen. Osama's fucking it up for everybody.

So, I took home The Ramen and attempted to make myself a bowl, but I got distracted by I Want to Work for Diddy and overcooked them. They turned into a mushy, beige jelly.

The next day, I took two packs of The Ramen to work with me for lunch. It was a little embarrassing, I guess. People seemed to be shaking their heads in pity. "Is it that bad, brother?" someone asked.

But I didn't slink away to my office and eat alone. I stayed in the lounge area and ate with my co-workers. They watched attentively while I doctored up my meal. I cooked The Ramen in the microwave for a few minutes. Then I let it sit.

Then I added the flavor powder, and let it sit some more.

Then I drained The Ramen.

"Oh, no!" someone shouted. "Don't do that. The juice is best part."

"You common negro," I said. "I have no use for artificially flavored salt water. I want The Ramen."

Then I added some hot sauce, black pepper and a pinch of salt.

They stared at me piteously, but I knew there was a hint of jealousy there. And they all knew better than to ask me for any of The Ramen.

The Ramen was all mine.

In business news, the album is doing quite well, and the feedback has been fantastic. If things keep going at this rate, I may be inclined to spend a few bucks and have the fucking thing mastered.

If you haven't downloaded it yet, here goes the link again...

DOWNLOAD

Thanks for reading.


GOBAMA/BIDEN!


Innocent Question: What do you think are the health ramifications of eating nothing but The Ramen 3 times a day for a month?