The Natural Escalation of Recreational Expenditures for Children

Okay:

So, parenthood, as all you parents know, is full of shocking discoveries. Your child is constantly surprising you with the things they pick up, and my daughter, precocious little gem that she is, is certainly no exception.

I can remember riding in my father's car when I was her age. My mother had made it very clear that anything along the lines of toys and what have you, I was to ask my father. My father, a poor and rather old-fashioned man, was generally caught off guard by the kind of shit that came out of my mouth.

"Dad, will you buy me a Turbo Grafx 16?"

"A Turbo what?"

"A Turbo Grafx 16. It's a new game system. Miles has one."

"I don't give a damn what Miles has. Plus, I just bought you a Nintenduh last year."

My father was very good at waiting until the last possible minute to buy me anything pricey. When I asked him for a Starter coat, it took him almost a year to give in. By the time I got one, people had stopped wearing them. Which really pissed him off. "You mean to tell me that I bought you a $100 coat and now you don't want to wear it anymore?"

"Nobody wears Starter coats anymore, Dad. I asked you for this last year."

"Well, goddammit, a $100 coat ain't never supposed to go out of style. I never heard of such a thing. My father never bought me new coat, much less a $100 coat. I wore my older brother's coat when he outgrew it and it wasn't even up for discussion. I didn't really care either. Everyone had on their older brother's coat. Now put on the goddamn coat!"

"Yes, Dad."

I got used to it after a while and learned to expect these kinds of responses from him. I am similar with my daughter. Sometimes she'll begin a question then stop herself. "Oh, nevermind. I know you're going to say no anyways."

So, back to the Turbo Grafx 16.

"This system is different, Dad. It's got 16 bit graphics. It makes the Nintendo look like Atari."

"What the hell is a bit and why should I care?"

"The more bits you have, the better it looks."

"Mm hmm. You ain't had that Nintenduh a good year and already you want something else. If I had known this was going to happen, I wouldn't have bought it for you in the first place."

"Well, I still need it. Turbo Grafx 16 has different games. They don't have, like, Zelda or Ninja Gaiden."

"So now I gotta buy you a bunch of different games?"

"It only comes with one."

"Jesus Christ! Well, how much does it cost?"

"One hundred fifty dollars."

"So it costs more than the Nintenduh?"

"It's got 16 bit graphics. Nintendo is 8 bit."

"I don't wanna hear nothing else about no goddamn bits...and where the hell is that goddamn Atari anyway. I guess you don't play with that anymore either."

So, back to the present.

I'm riding along with my daughter in the backseat and she says, "Do you know what you should get me, Daddy?"

"What's that, honey?"

"You should get me a laptop."

"A laptop?"

"One with Internet access, so I can go to icarly.com."

"Internet access?"

"Yep. And a color printer, so I don't have to use my paints all the time."

I took a deep breath. "We'll see, honey. We'll see."


Thanks for reading.


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Postscript: My mother ended up buying me a Sega Genesis, which I had to have after I heard they were putting out the Michael Jackson "Moonwalker" game. It ended up being a far better choice. Turbo Grafx 16, as you know, went out of production less than 2 years later. But "Moonwalker", sadly, was the last video game my parents ever bought me.