Forgetting Where I Came From

Okay:

I'm moving goddammit. The other day when my daughter and I got home, there were at least a dozen people gathered on the stoop getting high. One of them had a lawn chair. I saw them as I pulled into the parking lot and purposely parked as far away as possible. Only when we got out of the car it smelled like we were the ones smoking reefer.

Don't get me wrong, I used to smoke reefer in people's parking lots when I was a teenager, but now I'm an adult with a six-year-old and it's driving me crazy!

So, I went up the street to a pricier, nicer, more secluded complex and filled out an application. I move next month on the 17th. My new place has brand new carpet, a recently glazed tub, a balcony, a washer and dryer, a fitness room, a picnic area and--most importantly--a parking lot attendant.

I am officially bourgie.

Fuck it. I've been fighting it for years. All the black nationalist literature and hip hop music in the world cannot change the fact that a group of teenagers sitting on your steps smoking reefer is that last thing you want to see when you get home at 6:30pm. I don't give a damn if you're a garbage man, council member or a school teacher. If you work hard to pay your rent, certain shit is just going to burn your butter.

Bill Cosby was on Meet The Press this weekend. He was babbling about how so many black parents are not raising their black children to become productive members of society. Tim Russert did not challenge him like he challenges the white politicians who come on his show. He just let old Bill talk like he was soliciting donations for Save The Children.

Three years ago when he started this stuff, I immediately dismissed him as an old, out-of-touch, self-hating, bourgeoisie old school negro who has no idea what is really going on in the black community. How could he? Does he really still ride the bus? But this weekend, I listened. Bill, of course, has some valid points. And you must admire his candor.

The other day, Michael Eric Dyson was on NPR countering Bill's argument with some equally compelling rhetoric. According to Dyson, Bill is out of touch, and puts too much emphasis on personal responsibility, as opposed to the institutional racism that has given birth to the crisis in the black community.

Having said all that, ask me if I give a shit.

Go ahead. Ask me.

If Black Nationalist was a recognized political party, I would be a proud, card-carrying member. I love my people and I want to see our community grow and prosper. But at 28 I have made a conscious decision to no longer concern myself with the bottom feeders in our neighborhoods who care about nothing and will only bring the rest of us down. I'm talking about the people who let their children run the streets unsupervised. I'm talking about the people who throw trash in the street and vandalize everything. I'm talking about the motherfuckers smoking weed on my steps.

I'm down for the rest of us though. All the way, 100%. But those motherfuckers...those "adults" who haven't figured it out, don't want to figure it out, and never will figure it out...who has the time? Fidel Castro sent his trash to America on a chartered boat. I'm no martyr. I'm a father. And I'm tired.

Now, I shall step down from my soap box and get ready for work.

Thanks for reading.

Tip of the day: If you're not sure, wear two rubbers. It can't hurt.

Shameless Plug: www.blackbroadwayrecords.com