3 Reasons Black Men Turn to White Women

Okay:

I got into this big discussion with my sister, the stock broker, the other day about interracial dating. Those of my readers who are not black may not realize how galvanizing a subject this still is in the black community.

On the one hand, you have this perception that any black man who dates or marries a white woman (and white woman specifically--there is less of a stigma attached to, say, an Asian or Latina) is suffering from some racial identity issues. At one extreme he would be considered confused, and at the other, a sellout. Kobe Bryant, Montel Williams, Cuba Gooding, Jr., etc. etc.

If you don't believe me, tell a black woman who doesn't follow sports that for the first time in NFL history, the two coaches who went to the Superbowl last year were both black men. She'll smile big and wide and beam with pride. Then tell her that they are both married to white women. Her smile will disappear. She may say something to the effect of "It figures."

According to my sister, black men do this because they attach a certain level of status to white women. A brother who is able to acquire one will be revered by his peers. Like a Porshe.

I believe this is an out-of-date concept. Maybe it was true in the seventies but I think there's more to it now.

3 Main Reasons Black Men Turn to White Women:

1. He was raised in a white a community: He's related to most of the black people he knows. Naturally, he would gravitate toward what he's been exposed to. Nothing conscious or intentional about it.

2. He is ignorant: He thinks that white women are more easy-going or emotionally mature and have more reasonable expectations. I would place most celebrities in this category.

3. He likes her: Wasn't necessarily out hunting for white women. He just met a woman that he got along with and was brave enough to say, fuck it.

Of course, at the end of all this, the question is "Have you ever dated a white woman?"

Nothing to be ashamed of, as if that needs to be said. I'm a proud, progressive black man. The answer is, Yes. One seriously. Several casually. To put this in perspective, because I go through spells of wild promiscuity, the white women I have been with constitute approximately 5 percent of my sexual history. Having said that, allow me to dispel some myths.

1. No, they are not more easy-going: They are just as irrational and unreasonable as any other color woman.

2. No, they are not "easy": They have sex under the same circumstances as everyone else-- because they're drunk, desperate or genuinely horny.

3. No, they do not give better blowjobs: This was the biggest disappointment. They apparently do not, as I was made to believe, go to white girl's blowjob camp at sixteen. They're pretty standard, actually.

I'm interested in your opinion, so please post a comment. Let's get some discussion going here.

I'm also interested in hearing what's behind the double standard about interracial dating in the black community. Why is it perfectly okay for a black woman to date a white man? In contrast to the feelings associated with the inverse, when one sees a black woman with a white man I think people say to themselves, "I bet he's treating her right."

Look at Halle Berry.

Thanks for reading.

Tip of the day: Apparently, you're supposed to shampoo and comb your pubic hair regularly. Who knew?

Shameless plug: Watch our exclusive interview with rapper Noreaga. Very interesting stuff about his relationship with the late Big Pun, www.youtube.com/blackbroadwayrecords