Okay:
This fall will be the beginning of my eighth school year in education. In that time, I have kept a personal log of the some of the funnier things I've heard children say. I may have mentioned one or two of these in previous blog entries, but I'm too high on NyQuil to check, so cut me some slack.
2003, 8th grade.
ME: Gentrification means that they are restructuring the community's economy so that people like you can no longer afford to live in the place you now call home. The cost of living will shoot through the roof, and when you move out you will be replaced with white commuters from Virginia.
FEMALE STUDENT: Why they doing that?
ME: To eliminate the ghetto.
FEMALE STUDENT: That's so stupid. We ain't gonna do nothing but find each other and start a new one.
2004, 8th grade. (Same student)
FEMALE STUDENT: I don't give a fuck.
ME: Watch your language.
FEMALE STUDENT: That's so stupid. Why in the fuck would somebody sit around and invent words you can't say? What's the fucking point? Like, 'Here go some words we don't want nobody to say.' It's dumb.
ME: I see your point. But, still, watch your language.
FEMALE STUDENT: Fuck, dick, ass, pussy, cunt and titty. Now what?
2006, 9th grade.
ME: I want you to describe your dream house.
MALE STUDENT: Like, what you mean?
ME: Well, what would you want in it? Think of the show, MTV Cribs. You've seen those houses. What would you want your house to look like?
MALE STUDENT: I'll tell you, but I won't write it down.
ME: Okay. Shoot.
MALE STUDENT: I want a Tahiti in my bungalow with fish in the floor.
ME: I'm sorry. What?
MALE STUDENT: (slowly) I.want.a.Tahiti.in.my.bungalo.with.fish.in.the.floor. That's that tight shit.
ME: Oh. I see.
2002, 7th grade.
MALE STUDENT: I heard ___________'s mother smacked the principal.
ME: I don't know anything about that.
MALE STUDENT: Well, it's about time somebody put the hands to her.
2005, 8th grade (graduation)
ME: I'm very proud of you. Congratulations.
MALE STUDENT: Mr. Nadir, I'mma get my dick sucked tonight.
ME: Well. Make sure you're safe.
2008, 10th grade.
MALE STUDENT: It's in the Bible. God didn't want it to be dark no more. So he said, "Let there be light". Next thing you know, it was light up in that motherfucker.
2007, 10th grade.
FEMALE STUDENT: When did you have your son?
2ND FEMALE STUDENT: Three months ago?
FEMALE STUDENT: Do you still feed him from your titty ball milk?
There's lots more where that came from. My advice to aspiring writers? Teach urban education for a few years.
Thanks for reading.
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Innocent Question: In each of these instances, I laughed out loud. Is that wrong, professionally?
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3 comments:
You know...if not for anything else, you gotta love kids for their honesty.
And I'm sure they appreciate your candor and sincerity as well. That is why they feel free to be so... well... free. So with that being said, I think it's OK to laugh because it's honest and shows character. Revealing this side of yourself is the catalyst for your students to be open (crude), and although yours take being open to another level, it's important for children to express themselves. And your students certainly don't have difficulty with that.
On the less psychological side of things...I'm sure somedays you have to laugh just to keep from crying.
As for me...I probably would've backhanded the young one across the mouth for telling me what he was going to get sucked. But then I would've missed the opportunity to tell him to be safe. And I'm sure even if I smacked him, he would've gotten it sucked anyway.
So that's why I don't teach.
You're doing a great job! Keep up the good work, Mr. Nadir.
*smh* I almost have no words for this fuckery. It's funny until you think this is who will be our tax-payers (or lack thereof) soon. And when you think that our children have to grow up with them. *deep sigh* I weep for my people.
On the question: Professionally, yes, it's wrong! It's like when you're disciplining your children after they've done something that was absolutely hilarious, but they shouldn't have done. On many occasion I've had to leave the room and come back for the disciplining portion, lol. Humanly, it's totally understandable and acceptable. That's what makes comedy comedey. It's unexpectedly funny.
msj2u_thx:
Thanks for the boost. I suppose I never looked at it that way.
isha:
"fuckery"? LOL.
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