The Woman Of My Dreams

Okay:

Last night I had the most vivid sex dream about a woman I absolutely cannot stand, one of my co-workers. It's not that she's a bad person. I simply don't like the woman. Of course, we've had a few run-ins. And trust me, I remained a gentleman the entire time. But had I given my thoughts a voice, I probably wouldn't have a job right now.

That is not to say, however, that she is not attractive. When I first got the job, she was one of the first women I noticed. She has a spectacular, well-proportioned body, a pretty face with full lips and nose, and she wears her hair short, which I like.

So, you say, No wonder you had a sex dream about her. You're obviously attracted to her. Which is probably part of the reason you dislike her so much.

And you're probably right. If she were ugly, I wouldn't pay her enough attention to dislike her. But it's not like I think about this woman when she's not in my presence. I can pretty much forget she exists altogether if she's not standing right in front of me.

But she does have a mean walk. And a nice little booty that kind of winks at you.

But I typically don't have sex dreams about women I know. It's always some blank-faced freak with either a really fat ass or huge titties or both. Sometimes celebrities.

But back to the dream.

I'm in what I presume to be her townhouse way the hell out in Maryland somewhere behind God's ball sack. That's another thing I hate about her. She's late for work everyday because she insists on living an hour away in one of those slapped-together townhouse communities with gazebos and jungle gyms and streets named after flowers.

But there I am, lying in her bed, thinking to myself, Wow! Who woulda thunk it?

Still, I had enough presence of mind to know I was dreaming. Weird, I know. It's a talent. So I figured I wouldn't actually get to have real penis-in-vagina intercourse. Typically, in a sex dream of mine, things fall just short of that. But in this dream I ended up getting the full monty. And lots of it. I even put on a condom.

I think at some point in the dream she turned into someone else. But she turned back into herself eventually.

So, this is how it ended.

She is trying to leave to get to the malls early or something. It may have been Christmas time. I end up bending her over the coffee table for one last on-your-way-out-the-door hump. (Which women love by the way, fellas. I've never been refused one. I like to wait until they have their coats on.)

So, we're getting into it when the condom snaps. I tell her to wait right there while I run upstairs to get another one. But before I could make it up the steps, her parents come home.

I am literally standing at the foot of the stairs, holding my junk, and introducing myself to her father. Who, shockingly, doesn't seem to notice or care that there is a naked man in his house. They just take their groceries to the kitchen.

Then I woke up.

I want to tell her all about it, but I'm afraid she may go to HR on me. So, I guess we'll have to keep it between us.


Thanks for reading.



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Factoid: Most women, no matter how prude, would secretly be flattered that someone had a sex dream about them.