The Making Of A Freak

Okay:

So, I lost my virginity when I was thirteen.

People I meet from other places are sometimes shocked to hear this. And transplants who have lived in DC for a while say that this is unique to our region. We screw early.

She was twelve, I think. It makes me shudder to think that my little darling will be twelve in five short years. Hopefully, I will have instilled in her a desire to wait until she's old enough to handle the mammoth responsibility of being sexually active.

She was not an unattractive girl. Though I can't say I can clearly remember exactly what she looked like. I do remember that she had a really big butt for a seventh grader.

It went down like this.

I was a scruffy little fucker. I only bathed about three or four times a week. Yes, I was one of those funky kids. I got over it in the ninth grade but for a couple of years there, I was not the freshest fruit in the basket. My hair was a matted Amistad mini-fro (chic for the times, by the way). My clothes were dingy and a few steps outside of what would be considered fashionable. In retrospect, I was a school shooting waiting to happen.

I say all that to say this. It is a miracle that I lost my virginity at all. But you know girls. They find the strangest things attractive.

This girl was well-to-do and lived a half-hour outside the city in a Virginia suburb. Her father picked me up from the metro station, further away from home than I had ever been on my own, and dropped us off at their house. Then he went off to go see someone or make an appointment or whatever.

That's right.

He picked my dirty ass up from the train station, then left me in the house alone with his twelve year-old daughter.

Amazing, right?

As is often the case with pre-teen "love", we had thoroughly discussed exactly what was to take place. There was no spontaneity. There was no begging or pleading. This had all been planned. With little opposition on her part.

Once alone in her spacious basement bedroom, she disrobed. I did not.

Again. She disrobed but I remained fully clothed. I never even took off my jacket.(A knee-length, hooded, indigo-blue denim Corniche.)

You may be pleased to hear that we were very careful. I had brought the necessary equipment and had never imagined proceeding without such. Though, obviously, I haven't always been as careful since then.

So, I mounted her, so to speak, fully clothed, jacket included. It was over, predictably, within seconds. I don't remember it being particularly enjoyable for either of us. But I do remember being quite proud and relatively sure that I was the first among my small circle of friends to lose his virginity.

I don't suppose, therefore, that I was satisfied after that. And this is where, I guess, things got bad for me. I don't want to give you all the nasty little details because, after all, this is the Internet. I may want to run for mayor one day. Let's just say this. Anything I have ever done sexually, freaky-wise, I tried it out the day I lost my virginity. Literally.

It was more like an experiment than an exercise in unbridled carnal passion.

"Let's try this."

"Okay."

"And a little bit of this too."

"All right. You aren't going to tell anyone, are you?"

"'Course not." (I told EVERYBODY!)

A few hours later, as the sun was setting, her father arrived and drove me all the way back to DC. I shit you not! You can't make this shit up.

Predictably, she was pregnant before she finished junior high school. I assure you I had nothing to do with that. She was passed around and around and developed what might be the worst reputation any pre-teen girl has ever had. Isn't that sad? She was a social outcast. Kids are cruel. But I'm not sure adults would have treated her any differently.

I've often wondered whether or not I was the catalyst. Malcolm X expressed similar regrets in his autobiography about his first girlfriend, who went on to become a hard-living lesbian prostitute.

I don't know whatever happened to this girl, but I imagine she turned out all right. They were pretty well-off. And money can fix just about anything.

What was your first time like?


Thanks for reading.

GOBAMA!

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Confession: We had one follow up encounter in the woods. To this day I have a woods thing. Some people like elevators and bathrooms. But to me, nothing beats a log in the forest (pun intended).