A Booty Upon Which to Rest Your Sandwich and Misadventures in Blatant Student Plagiarism

Okay:

And so my work crush was looking especially delicious today. My oh my, that woman has a body on her. She had on this smart looking black cotton dress that clung just so. Nothing especially whorish about her garment, but her body is so incredible, she'd have to wear an over sized sweatsuit to hide it. Even then, the pants would sit up on the round mound and the booty would kind of knowingly wink at you as if to say, "I'm still here."

Actually, I'm a freak for a woman in a sweatsuit. I mean, don't get me wrong. I like miniskirts, tight jeans and sun dresses just as much as the next man. But there's something about a woman in a pair of sweatpants. If her booty is really talking about something, those sweats are gonna cling to her in a way that no other fabric would.

Man o man! It's been a while.

But anyways. If I could get this girl to talk less, I'd propose. Just so I could look at her all the time and smack that booty on Sunday mornings. To be honest, and I know I'm going to sound a lot like the uppity, bourgeois negro you think I am, she's just too damn hood.

It's not something I would have said a year ago. But lately, I just haven't been able to stomach it. As soon as she starts talking about how she's going to spend her entire check at the mall and that $2500 Gucci purse she has her eye on and how much she loves White Zinfandel, I feel the sudden urge to leave the room.

But she sure is nice to look at, I'll tell ya.

Fat donkey booty, man. You should see it.

In other news, I received my first plagiarized essay of the year. It happens all the time. I stopped making a big deal out of it after year three. It's just far too common to make a stink.

I've seen some funny ones though. The audacity of these kids today. Back when I went to high school, in the twentieth century, there was no Google. Your black ass was supposed to go to the library. Or if you were lucky your mother bought you a set of encyclopedias. We had The World Book, but I secretly wanted Encyclopedia Britannica. But who were we to have two sets? Mom wasn't made out of money.

The most common example is when I give a long term assignment with a specific page length. Let's say I give this assignment to a group of thirty kids. Five may turn it in on time. With some fairly forceful probing, another dozen or so may turn the paper in eventually. Literally, every other paper will be completely plagiarized. The others will be so poorly written that I find myself wishing they would just go ahead and hop on the bandwagon to make a clean sweep of it.

Now, when I say completely plagiarized, I do mean completely. Sometimes, I shit you not, they hand in actual Wikipedia print outs with the web addresses, page numbers and dates in the footer and everything.

I swear on everything that is holy.

But today, I was privileged to bear witness to plagiarism on a whole 'nother level. The assignment was to write a review of the last movie you saw. A paragraph or so was all I was looking for.

For the most part, I was pleased with what came back. However, this one little girl. Just this one. She decided that a one paragraph review would require too much effort on her part, so she decided to transcribe the blurb on the back of the DVD case.

Now, I did this once or twice in my day with the blurbs on the backs of novels, so I'm not altogether unfamiliar with the practice. Only, this girl was so lazy, she didn't even pay attention to what she was writing.

Her review ended suspiciously, "For more info, visit the website www.straighttodvdblackromanticcomedy.com"

Well.

I guess I've got my work cut out for me.


And here goes the album again, in case you missed it.

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Thanks for reading.


GOBAMA/BIDEN!


Innocent Question: Was I wrong for holding up her paper in front of the class and saying, "What ever you do, don't do what this little girl did."?